亲密治疗

我觉得电影一般般，喋喋不休的残疾诗人，可爱的神父，敬业的性治疗师。

在经过性治疗师的六次治疗下，两个人的情感变味了，使得对本身职业的一种渎职，对待残疾人需要的是关爱和怜悯，感情用事会加深伤害。

特殊的行业有一定的危险性，需要很好心理素质的专业人完成，如电影里的性治疗师，虽然专业，但心理素质不够，太圣人。

由一开始的情于不色，到后面掺杂了个人情感，就变得色了，女人如果一首诗就能被打动的话我也无话可说。

一直保持专业与理智的角度，我会看作是部好电影

开始还以为是讲治疗的，内容比想象中劲爆。

记得以前犯罪心理里有一集，大概是说所谓性治疗师跟妓女没啥大的不同；姑且不评价这种职业，但的确给我了一种不同的视角。

全篇描写的性，给人一种特别的纯洁感，单纯而美好，如胶不似漆，多一点太色，少一点又没了；再用女治疗师身体飞老态、专业态度、真挚情感、男主的残疾，承托这种单纯；性嘛，本该如此。

整个过程没有那些动作片中的常见的情节，多了些文艺片的小清新，到也能让人感受到一种恰到好处的意味。

男主对教父的忏悔，更略带那么点神圣的色彩，整体来看，却是一部让人略带治愈的轻喜剧。

其实嘛，每个男人小时候都会对性有好奇与困惑，更参杂着各种恐惧、兴奋与羞耻，导演正是通过一个小儿麻痹症的诗人身份来无数倍放大这种复杂的困境，成为连接现实生活的一个点吧；经常听说，性是一种本能，这好像暗示了性天生能会一样；要说的呢，如果性只是性交可能是吧，但性爱的确需要学习，特别是有志于想要追求完美性爱体验，更是如此。

在huffingtonpost上看到的，觉得有用就转了。

懒得翻译了，只写几点印象深刻的：CCG没有爱上Mark。

（我觉得这一点很重要，电影的设置因为这一点而比现实生活逊色很多，当然我们都能理解为什么要这样编剧本）曾经有过200多名surrogate，现在只有50名。

（经济不景气，需求萎缩啊）CCG因乳腺癌于2006年切除单侧乳房，她今年（2013）已经68岁，仍然战斗在工作第一线。

（这才是为革命事业奋斗终生）下面是原文：One of my favorite movies of the year is The Sessions, based on the true story of sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene and her work with Berkeley-based poet and journalist Mark O'Brien, who was confined to an iron lung after contracting polio at age 6. The story is riveting, and comprises the first chapter of Cheryl's memoir, An Intimate Life: Sex, Love, and My Journey as a Surrogate Partner.For forty years, Cheryl has worked in a career that has helped so many people, yet is greatly misunderstood. Here's what she had to say about her life as a sex surrogate:Lois Alter Mark: I absolutely loved The Sessions, and thought it was such a beautiful and important story that can really open people's minds. How accurate is the movie and what message do you hope viewers will come away with after seeing it?Cheryl Cohen Greene: Overall, I'm pleased with the level of accuracy in the movie. Of course, there are some things that the film couldn't show because of time limitations, but they really gave an accurate depiction of my work with Mark. The part about Mark and I falling in love was an exception. I would say we fell in like and we shared some very intense, loving moments. We stayed friends for years.I hope people will come away understanding how important sexuality is for everyone, including people with disabilities. They have the same needs and desires as those of us who don't live with a physical disability. Additionally, I hope people will have a better sense of who surrogate partners are and the services we provide. We offer people the education and experience that can help them move forward in their lives from a more secure, more knowledgeable place.LAM: Helen Hunt gives a beautiful performance that has deservedly been nominated for an Academy Award. How did it feel to watch her portray you? Did she have any specific questions before she started? What kind of advice did you give her?CCG: It was incredible! Helen observed me very closely. She herself has said that I'm a louder person than she is, but I really felt she got my energy into her portrayal. She asked a lot about how I work with people and the range of clients I have. We discussed my work with Mark and how I encouraged him to give me feedback. Once, I read the script to her in my own voice so she could get my Boston accent. She also invited me to her home and I demonstrated sensual touch, an exercise I do with clients, on her partner -- fully clothed. Much of what you see with Helen and John in the movie comes directly from my work with Mark. I did bring a mirror to our sessions so Mark could see himself, and I did touch him in much the same way Helen did.LAM: Because the movie focuses on just one of your clients, I found it fascinating to read your memoir afterwards. You have lived a very rich life, in a world most people have no idea even exists!CCG: Thank you. I agree! I've been very fortunate.LAM: It seems that the biggest misconception about surrogates is that they're no different than prostitutes. The movie and your book clearly show how off-base that perception is. I love that you say you're more like Julia Child than Xavier Hollander, and you compare seeing a surrogate to going to culinary school. Can you explain that a little?CCG: Well, if you go to a prostitute it's like going to a restaurant. You choose what you want for the menu, you eat and hopefully have a good meal, and then you pay accordingly. If you have a good experience, maybe you'll return or refer friends to them. With a surrogate, it's more like going to culinary school. You learn the recipes, you learn your way around the kitchen, and then you go back to your life equipped with new skills and knowledge. I've yet to find a better metaphor for explaining the difference.LAM: The world was a very different place when you originally started this career. How did you get into it and what does it take to be good at this job?CCG: It takes compassion and empathy -- not sympathy, but empathy. It also takes having a very good intuitive sense. Surrogates have a process that we follow, but as the work progressives, it really becomes more individualized and it's important for the surrogate to be able to pick up subtle cues from the client.I got into because it was meant to be! I had a sexually repressive childhood in which I was taught to believe that sex was dirty and wrong, but also that you were supposed to save it for the one you love. When I was pregnant with my first child, I went into therapy because I wanted my children to have a different and better experience from the one I had. In the process of working on myself, I really had to confront all of the shame and guilt I had about my sexuality. I was eventually able to work through it and free myself of it, even though it was intense. That made me believe that this was possible for others, too, and I wanted to help people not just overcome negative feelings about sexuality, but become more accepting and happy as sexual beings.LAM: Although sex is all over the place now and it seems like there's a no-holds-barred attitude, the number of surrogates has actually decreased since you started. Why is that? What have been the biggest changes you've seen in our sexual culture over the past 40 years?CCG: The biggest challenge has always been people's shame and guilt. In the sixties and seventies, people were rejecting that and trying to redefine their attitudes about sex. When AIDS happened, people became understandably scared and surrogates were no exception. A lot of them left the field. Those of us who stayed thought it was frightening too. We made a real effort to understand safer sex and to become condom positive. Most of our clients are low risk because they haven't had a lot of sex, but there was still a certain amount of risk that we faced. We had to have a new dialogue. Before AIDS, we asked if a client wanted to use a condom; now, it's taken as a given that he will, and if he refuses, we won't have intercourse. Surrogates became better sex educators because we had to be much better informed. We were up against something much more serious than syphilis and gonorrhea. There are only about 50 trained surrogates in the U.S. now. That number was up to around 200 in the seventies. We're trying to find young men and women to come into the field and I hope the movie will spark interest in the profession. LAM: What's the most difficult part of being a surrogate?CCG: The most difficult part is probably to not continue to be a surrogate when you're with your partner. We're trained to be highly aware of what the client does and feels. Surrogacy is highly client-centric and the surrogate has to be closely attuned to her client. Sex with a partner is a much more shared experience and you don't want to find yourself becoming a spectator or losing touch with your own body. It took a while for me to learn not to be a surrogate all the time.LAM: What's the scariest part?CCG: I don't really find anything scary about my work. People are often surprised to hear that. There have only been very few instances where I felt scared with a client. One I detail in An Intimate Life. The other was with a man who had a lot of unresolved anger at his ex-wife, whom I apparently looked like. All my clients are screened by the referring therapist and it's appropriate for them to be working with me. In truth, surrogacy is, at least initially, probably way scarier for them than it ever is for me.LAM: You are a breast cancer survivor, and you underwent a mastectomy in 2006. How did that affect your own body image as well as your practice?CCG: It threw me for a loop at first, but I knew instantly that I didn't want to stop working. I had to learn a new dialogue about my body. I found myself trying to come to grips with the loss of a friend. I loved my breast. I loved the sensation I had in my nipple and it happens that the breast I had removed was the more sensitive of the two. I took a philosophical attitude. I had both breasts at one time in my life, and I enjoyed them, but to be alive was more important.LAM: How has being a surrogate affected your personal relationships? CCG: I think I have richer personal relationships because of my work. Who I am and what I do is so different than what others do. I have fabulous friends and a loving husband, and my work has helped me be more empathetic and compassionate with all of them.LAM: You're 68 years old now and are still working. What's been the most rewarding part of your career? What do you see for the future?CCG: I'm going to continue my surrogacy practice for as long as I can. I love the idea of having a public platform and being able to do more education. One thing I would absolutely love to do is to serve as a sex educator for parents. How parents address sexuality has a huge impact on kids, and I'd like to make sure it's a positive one. I'd love to help give parents the knowledge and tools they need to raise happy and healthy kids.

一句话点评：中规中矩，以纯洁态度写非凡性事。

请问有为广大女性服务的男性性爱治疗师吗？

这部电影，无论是摄影、叙事、剪辑还是基调，都是常规之作。

但遇到这样的偏门题材——自由患小儿麻痹症的人接受专业性爱治疗师身体力行的治疗，玩太多影像花样，会显得装逼，装逼就显得既不尊重残障人士，又不尊重性爱治疗师，更不尊重宗教伦理。

但作品绝对有诚意。

说说开头细节，猫从户外跳进室内，一来反衬睡在铁肺里的马克行动毫无自由，二来猫咪用尾巴扫一把马克的鼻子，就能折磨他无奈地默念“用意念瘙痒”——乐观纯真的性格立现。

再说影片结尾，猫咪站在空铁肺上，似怀念主人，也似告诉我们马克的一生有多短暂——请考虑下猫的寿命。

马克短暂而脆弱的生命是精彩的，他全身只有一个头能动，离开铁肺只能活三四个小时，还得时常吸氧，但他却是个诗人。

如果你明白一颗诗人的心，就该知道三十八岁的马克，对性，或者说能唤起性的爱意，渴望到了何种程度；如果你明白一颗诗人的心，就明白连自慰都没有过的马克，如何以美丽的心灵，自然而然地打动三名不同女子，并抱得娇妻——他用心灵拥抱他喜爱的女子。

电影里开明神父的表演也相当出彩，如果马克这孩子因为学习婚前性爱要下地狱的话，上帝也会皱皱眉吧。

本文发表于《环球荧幕》ipad版第二期

马克·欧布莱恩曾在幼年时期患上过小儿麻痹症。

疾病的后遗症不仅让他再也没有站起来过，并且还让他饱受呼吸困难的折磨。

虽然已过而立之年的他早已成为一名成功的诗人兼记者，但作为一个男人，却从未尝试过性的滋味。

在向牧师朋友多次寻求指引 后，他毅然决定通过雇佣专业性从业者来帮助自己完成这个愿望。

于是谢尔出现在了马克的生活里。

然而对于马克这样特殊的情况，谢尔一开始也觉得无所适从。

但是渐渐地，两人不仅从医患关系变为朋友，谢尔同时也给予了马克追求幸福和爱的勇气，让马克迈出了追寻爱的第一步。

这是部很不错的很诙谐的片子。

全身上下只有头能动的男主到了三十几岁还是个处男，于是他通过“残疾人性爱中心”找到了一个专业的性治疗师。

（外国人福利真是好啊有木有！！！

）Amanda是继不称职的上任看护之后的看护，她灿烂的笑容让男主对她一见倾心。

就在男主对她表白之后，她选择了逃避。

Sheryl是性治疗师，有自己的家庭，她对男主来说，是一个上帝赐予的礼物。

他们从一开始的陌生到后来无论是肉体还是精神上的相互了解，让他们互相吸引，互相爱慕。

（我认为是因为Sheryl有家庭，所以他们才没有走到一起）Susan是医院的志愿者，性格开朗，陪伴着男主过完了他生命最后的旅程。

男主是不幸的，同时也是幸运的，就像他自己所说，他并不完美的生命里，有三位美丽的女士爱着他，陪着他，最后还一起来参加他的葬礼。

他是幸福的。

开始向神父倾诉的时候他的表情好无可奈何啊，后来就好像听的入了迷😊。

有一些小细节印象深刻，比如神父说的，性总是无故与上帝联系在一起，再如治疗师说的，我们可以选择，在爱慕阶段保留美好或者继续，两个人商量着往下走，最后变成nothing or everthing，人们都是如此而不能免俗。

最深刻的是主角在对神父说，我有一种预感的悲伤袭来，我想要让自己相信她让我的人生变化了，其实他的病治不好，他的困境一直都在。

我想很多事情我们听说过没做过的时候它在心里很美，想象的太好，一直追求一直追求希望得到，真的有了或者经历了，也许就是is that it?，就是这样吗？

感情，梦想名誉，倾尽一切得到，结果有了却好像没有了想象中的开心，不是不开心，只是没那么开心。

之后呢？

还有什么留在心里？

对我而言，美好的事物是从没得到过所以也无所谓幻想破灭一直在心中美好下去和得到后失去美好被现实戳破始终留有遗憾哪一个更好这么多年一直是个疑问，至今无解。

我突然想到，为什么没有第三条路可以走呢？

得到了，它确实那么美你的想象就是真的，或者它没有那么美，但是已经够美了，离它很近时你可以发现更多值得珍惜的美好存在，或者在美好破灭的时候你发现，自己也不是那么美，没有什么是完美的，然后想着，那就让我们一起变的更完美吧，成为更好的自己和对方，看到彼此的粗陋而不嫌弃，看到美好而珍藏于心，毕竟偶像也要拉屎，听起来很粗俗但是就是这个道理。

多年，我已经很难分辨大多数时候自己的喜怒哀乐了，理不清自己的情绪和想法。

我的困境或许是从未相信过自己可以幸福或者自己值得幸福。

还没有得到过就早早的怕失去，非常悲观。

内心没有足够的爱，怎么爱得起别人？

内心荒芜如草地，怎么开出鲜花，我很感动治疗师的做法，她很了不起，善良有爱，尽力去帮助别人，这样很难做到的。

后面看到停电了，主角说，所以这就是我的尽头，眼泪好像要出来了，好悲伤，不是同情，而是一种可悲和无奈感，一如人生境遇，思绪万千的悲伤。

最后的最后，他死了，经历过情爱，无论是性的还是灵的，结尾没有反转，就是正常人普通人正常的结尾和经历，却让人心疼和心碎，无疑，这是一部很好的电影，值得再看几遍。

性辅导师居然是一种职业，这在道学家们及被道学家们洗脑的人们中间是无论如何不可想象的 。

把人当人，人的自然欲望都是正当的，尽量满足人的自然的正当的欲望，就是对人的尊重。

在中国，性成了权力的象征，却在道德的层面上又被视作是肮脏的东西。

违背人性的文化和道德，必然是虚伪的。

在观念上，中国人落后得太多。

影片中性辅导师的丈夫称赞她是“圣人”，绝非谬赞。

性是自然的、正当的、美丽的，它本身洁净无邪，只是被伪道士们人为地弄脏了。

有性的欲望的人是正常的人，有性爱的人生是完整的人生。

不应当把人的自然欲望区分为高尚的和卑下的。

凭什么说人的食欲是正当的，甚至可以接受人的权力欲、占有欲，却非要视人的性欲是卑下的、肮脏的呢？

这是毫无道理的。

电影的英文原名是Sessions，直译是课程的意思，指性辅导师给马克上的六堂课（实际上了四堂课）。

翻译作“亲密治疗”，不错，感觉比较温馨，符合影片表现的人性关怀的基调。

影片中，性辅导师在为马克做完最后一次治疗后，搬了一面大镜子照着马克瘫痪多年的裸体，一字一句清晰柔和地说：“马克，这就是你的身体，是上帝为你创造的身体，没有什么是值得羞耻的。

”同样道理，人的欲望也是上帝的创造，完全不必为之感到羞耻。

影片中人们对待马克都不抱持特殊异样的态度。

残障人士希望自己像普通人一样生活，而不喜欢别人同情他，给他以特殊的关照，尤其不愿见到别人的诧异的眼光。

饰演性辅导师的Helen Hunt获85届奥斯卡最佳女配角提名，并不意外。

饰演马克•欧布莱恩的John Hawkes未获任何提名，让人感到可惜。

饰演这样一个全身瘫痪的角色有相当大的难度，Hawkes完成得相当出色。

（2013／02／01）

deeply touched. 非常精准，连过渡都不是无谓的，像是把浩瀚如汪洋的深刻感受和体会全部浓缩到一个个简洁的片段里。

虽然……Mark的表现不足以让我理解为什么女性会爱上他，我也不相信她真的能高潮。

非常多戳点，比如她拿着镜子对他说，It's your body. 最动人的，是每一个体验都非常深刻，像是在巨大的空间里呼啸兜转了多年后，吐出的一个轻声而简短的叹息。

但仅从那表面的平静叹息里，都能些微地感受到底下猛烈盘旋的风。

feelings are mixed, and that is why it is perfect. Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refused to carry out my quietest desire. Bury the torches.

Mark O'Brien 因6岁患上小儿麻痹，导致脖子以下瘫痪，甚至因呼吸存在困难，需要靠铁肺给他提供足够的氧气而时而需要生活在其中。

与史铁生一样，他没有让残障定义自己，却用其相对短暂的一生，通过写作和参与不同社会活动，致力于唤起美国社会对残障人士生存状态和应给予其同等尊重与权利的重视与支持。

他是诗人，也是记者。

这部电影改编于他的给《太阳报》(The Sun)写的On Seeing a Sex Surrogate。

尽管这部电影主要部分围绕着“疗程”展开，但开篇和结尾给出了，为何Mark决定寻求Cheryl帮助、这个经历于他的意义的答案。

“性”，于他生活在身患小儿麻痹症的身体来说，本是他不可想象，甚至是在他生活的天主教家庭/环境，恐惧提及的事。

即便他对一位照护者心生爱意也勇敢表达了，这个话题或许被想起却未被公开提及。

而当他因接受约稿的机缘，接触到性于残障人士的议题，他开始以记者的身份了解到，原来性生活对许多身患残障的人来说，并不是禁忌，对他们身体健全的伴侣来说，也不是猎奇；而作为一个37岁的处男，亲密行为，是他首先为自己，可以去想象甚至尝试去做的事。

要鼓起勇气走出这一步，他去寻求了牧师的指点，去寻找了医生的帮助，得到了身边朋友和照护者的支持，遇到了帮助人们克服性生活障碍的专业人士Cheryl。

“最多六次疗程”，Cheryl第一次见面就告诉他，这样的边界属于专业性的一部分。

每一次疗程都是一种突破——对身体的体验、对身体的理解、对身体的把控、对身体和自我的接受的突破——而Mark的进步，在Cheryl的悉心指点下，在周围朋友的鼓励下，是超乎他俩第一次拘谨且效果并不太好的疗程所能想象的。

乃至当第四次疗程结束后，两人共同商议决定停止治疗：Mark不再需要这样的治疗去告诉他如何过好性生活了。

就像影片一开始，电视台报道他在UC Berckely成功完成学业，获得文学学士学位一样，在这个关乎身体和自我接纳与成长的课堂，Mark以令人惊叹的成绩毕业了【电影中对Mark与Cheryl关系还进行了一定浪漫化处理】。

或许命运使然，在随后遭遇因停电铁肺暂停的事故几近死亡时，在医院，Mark遇到了喜欢诗歌的志愿者Susan，而他可以毫不掩饰其骄傲和快乐地告诉这一见钟情的人：“我不是处男”。

即便此处有戏剧化的成分——毕竟是电影——还是会让人跟着他和Susan会心一笑。

而正如治疗中遇到困难向牧师倾诉的Mark，听到牧师的回答——你是一个诗人，用你诗人的方法去回应Cheryl的治疗——时，屏幕内外也会一笑一样，Mark与Susan与屏幕前的你我的一笑，既是Mark对自己能给未来的伴侣提供全面的幸福体验的信心，又是他带些孩子气的勇敢与率真的真情流露。

这里，束缚他的身体解放了性话题在社会的一般禁忌。

这里，爱的讨喜与生命的可能融为一体。

Mark这篇纪实性报道发表于1990年，影片上映于2012年。

1999年，49岁的诗人Mark离开了人间，他的诗集、散文和自传 How I Became a Human Being: A Disabled Man's Quest for Independence，和讲述他故事的诗歌、报道、影片一道，成为留给爱他和他爱的人世间的一笔财富。

生活在2024年年尾的你我，看到这部片子，对我们的身体、对我们对残缺对不完整对陌生对过去和未知的恐惧、对我们可以做出改变的选择，是否也能有诗意般的回答与行动呢？

推荐阅读：Chana Bloch, 2013, My sessions with Mark, The Poetry Foundation: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69959/my-sessions-with-mark